no_apologies: (Excited Charlie B. Barkin)
[personal profile] no_apologies
Thanks to Weird Al for the inspiration, even though I don't like him as much as I used to. He's mocked truth tellers such as myself in his spoof of Lorde's "Royals", called "Foil". Pbbbbbt! (*raspberries*) Whatever. He can be a comedic douchebag. In that song, he sounds like an ignorant sheeple, lol. No worries, I didn't write this one for profit.

I've become funnier than that guy! :P I laughed so much while writing this one... I hope you guys and gals have a good belly laugh as you read it. :)

Whopper King

It took centuries, but I finally found
The perfect burger recipe!
You'll never find a better change
In this entire nation.
One little bite, and I'm sure you will agree!

Senses at peak, as your knees get weak.
You're gonna lick your plate clean.
People from around the globe come,
Just to study my techniques.
I make the best darn burgers,
This world has ever seen!

I'm the Whopper King!
Whopper King, that's what they call me.
Hey, I'm the Whopper King!

Everywhere I go now, the people cheer,
As I help them keep in line.
They say, "Right this way, sir. Your cash is no good here!"
Someday, I'll betcha they'll build me a shrine.

Some Americans say, "I'm your biggest fan!"
"I watch you a lot on TV!"
Folks from everywhere visit, just to shake my hand.
If you don't believe in the power of Obama,
Let me show you what I mean!

I'm the Whopper King!
You'll want to scream and shout.
Whopper King!
That's my name. Don't wear it out!
Whopper King!
Make no mistake about it,
I'm the Whopper King.


Roll out the carpet, 'cause here I come.
All you peons better scram!
Out of my way, you stupid piece of scum.
Don't you know who I am?

Hey! I want to see you grovel,
You burger eatin' fools!
Everybody, on your knees.
You wanna get a burger?
You better play by my rules!
Go on, plead. Let me hear you say, "pretty please!"

Can't you see the galaxies revolve around me?
You suckers owe me everything.
Yeah, I'm the highest life form that there could ever be!
Everybody from around the world,
Let me hear you stand up and sing!

"He's the wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha Whopper King!"
Hey, have a burger!
Whaah whaah whaah whaah whaah whaah
Whopper King!
Put it in your bun now.
Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha Whopper King!

Say, what's the matter?
Don't you know who I am?
Don't you know who I am?
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Marianne E. B. Markham

September 2017


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