no_apologies | Reading

The weekend was honestly nice.

Sunday was my mother's birthday and we surprised her after breakfast with flowers, cake, cookies, and her actual gift (socks! she asked for socks!) and she seemed really happy. I peeked out the doorwall in the living room and the snowdrops were up and blooming! (No sign of the crocuses yet, but none of us were expecting the snowdrops and those are always first.)

Saturday's nerd show was also good. If I could change one thing, it'd be moving the hours from 11-4 to, like, 9-2 or something. Big afternoon die-off.

It was sunny earlier, I had the energy to get quite a few chores done (or at least worked on) and got the all-fi set up. A few weeks back, I got about fifteen notices that the phone company is discontinuing landline service to this area. So my options were try their device that I assume uses the cellular network (yes I know that's not really what it is anymore, but for description's sake here) or go to the reliable and fast and absolutely miserable to deal with cable company. Their device, the 'all-fi', which sounds like a cult, has a free seven day trial to see if it'll work/have a signal so I finally got it and set it up. Unexpectedly, quite literally unexpectedly, I have a good signal and internet that's probably a hundred times faster than previous (not an exaggeration). I'm going to keep adding devices as I only have two tablets connected right now, but I think this is going to work out okay. (And the dire cable company is still always an option.) The set-up was obnoxious (an app that had to go on a phone, not a tablet) and I haven't entirely ruled out ornamental hermitude, but... so far so good.

Built: one small lotus flower brick kit from the nerd show, black Levinix, white Iglight (getting lots of customization, lol), dorky Zeta Gundam 'marble' shooter.

I'd also registered for CitrusCon but I really didn't do much with it because I was busy with the nerd show and also just... didn't really enjoy trying to communicate on the discord. Textual equivalency of being in a room with a thousand people yelling to each other.

gs_silva

Maurice promises to comfort Cathy in her distress but Cathy is watching baseball

kalloway

The little nerd show was good. Never really busy, but steady-ish. Mostly a Pokemon/card-heavy group, didn't move any of my animanga stuff, but sold a few TFs and some random other things. Sold video games, and at the end another vendor offered me half of what I had marked on my 'expensive' PS1 games which was still way more than double? triple? what I'd paid and I said "sure!" because, like, they are out of my sale box and I have cash in hand. Next show is in April and I suppose I'll be best served by picking out more games that I'm never going to play. (Also the vendor beside us kept coming over and looking at a couple of random PSP games but said he hadn't done well enough to justify buying them. He had Pokemon plushies and I said I'd trade for a couple of cool critters. I got a Pikachu and some sort of mushroom with tentacles that made me laugh.)

It's March, so I have communities to do things with and promote in general... I have a lot of stuff to do in general. While it is still chilly at the moment, the end of the week is supposed to be impressively warm and I will be able to hopefully do a quick garage-clean. Yay!

I suppose this week, if it's as quiet as it's looking like it might be, I can work on my Redacted III contest entry. That should be easy-ish to do? Hopefully? Just need to find momentum...

badfalcon

The One-Book Month
February was... quieter. Not in life - absolutely not in life - but in reading.

I finished one book.

And instead of pretending that didn't happen, or dressing it up as something hyper-productive, I want to be honest about it - because this year I'm trying to let my reading life reflect my actual life.

📊 By the Numbers
Books read: 1
Pages read: 1,184
Average rating: 5 stars

That's it. That's the stats.

🌧️ What February Actually Looked Like
February was a month of:

Mental health wobbling in ways I didn't fully anticipate
University deadlines looming and then arriving all at once
Settling into a new job (which is good, but still takes energy)
Keeping up with tennis, because of course I am

And somewhere in the middle of that… a reading slump
Not the dramatic, “I hate books now” kind. Just the soft, heavy kind where picking up a book feels like one more task instead of an escape.

And I've learned enough about myself to know that when that happens, it's usually not about the book.

It's about bandwidth.

📖 The Book
The one book I finished in February was Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid - 368 pages of sharp tension, aching intimacy, and characters who completely took up residence in my brain.

But here's the thing: while I only finished one book, I didn't only read one book.

I read 1,184 pages in total this month. I started things. I dipped in and out of stories. I got halfway through books and then set them down because my brain needed something different.

February wasn't a no-reading month. It was a no-finishing month.

And that feels like an important distinction.

Heated Rivalry just happened to be the one that carried me all the way to the end - the one that held my attention when my focus felt fractured. There's something fitting about a romance built on long-term tension being the story I could commit to in a month where everything else felt unsettled.

🧠 Reading Slumps & Soft Expectations
I'm trying not to measure my reading in productivity terms.

Eight books in January doesn't make me “better” than one book in February. It just means January had more space.

This year - especially with university and work balancing each other out - I want my bookstagram and blog to reflect reality, not output. Some months will be chaotic stacks and genre deep dives. Some months will be one dog-eared paperback and a lot of late nights staring at ceilings.

Both count.

🌱 Looking Ahead
If February was about surviving and stabilising, maybe March can be about rediscovering joy.

No pressure. No strict TBR. Just following whatever mood feels gentle and manageable.

If you also had a slow month - you're not alone. And if you devoured twelve books, I'm cheering for you too.

Reading seasons shift. We're allowed to shift with them.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: ATP Chile Open Men's singles final - Hanfmann v Darderi

gs_silva

Ella and Maurice walk down the street talking

Okay, where were we? This scene is weird because there are abrupt mood changes in each installment. Ella had accused Maurice of ogling other women, and Maurice denied it but described the conversation he'd had with Owen on the porch of their shared multifamily house.

So Ella teases Maurice about caring that he and Ren look 'funny' together.

"You can shag Ren sideways, for all I care. But Cathy implied you were checking out other girls," Ella says.

"I wasn't!" Maurice insists. "Okay, I mighta said some things. But they were judging me! I felt cornered! Owen with his whole, "Oh, I don't mean to be rude! Hahaha! You just look funny! And Cathy: "Don't be embarrassed! I still love you!" I'm NOT embarrassed. I've spent huge amounts of time making myself not be self-conscious. Even though all of society wants me to. TV thinks I'm nothing but comic relief. Undesirable. Feeling good about myself? Nope! Can't have that! I spent two years trying to figure out how to enter the dating scene, before Cathy showed up, 'cause there's no guide for people like me."

"I'm sorry, Maurice. You're right," says Ella. "Our society is needlessly hostile to Asians."

Maurice scowls and finally replies, "...I meant short guys."

Ella holds her head in her hands. "Oh! Oh geez. Recalibrating!"

"That too, Sure," Maurice says. "I haven't even dealt with that part as much. I don't know how to start."

"They're kinda related. Maybe you can double up and overcome them both!" Ella suggests. "Low self-esteem is hard, even when you don't feel like everyone is telling you you need to have it." She should know! Ella is the girl who realizes early in life that society's pressures on women are nonsense, but then doesn't have the tools to deal with this realization, so she just sits on it, occasionally being cynical about it, and the years go by. At this point she's just overcome the pressure of needing a man to make her feel complete, and would really rather be a lesbian. She has yet to realize that she can also be a tepid lesbian.

"I don't just feel it. That's literally what happened yesterday," Maurice asserts.

"Sorry. That sucks," says Ella. "Hey, Arzy, if it's any comfort, that time you asked me out... I did briefly consider it."

Next post will be another change in tone! Confiding in Ella isn't always a bad thing, but it helps to have a thick skin and be tolerant of whiplash. She's a quick thinker but not a deep thinker.

***
( Character dev musings )

linaewen posting in

writethisfanfic

Hello on Sunday! What kind of a writing day has it been so far today -- or if today hasn't gotten going yet, how did you fare yesterday?

- I thought about my fic once or twice
- I wrote
- I did some planning and/or outlining
- I did research and/or canon review
- I edited
- I've sent my fic off to my beta
- I posted today!
- I'm taking a break
- I did something else that I'll talk about in a comment

Sunday Discussion: It's a new writing week, and day one of a new writing month -- that means a fresh start. Maybe you had a great writing week last week, or maybe last week wasn't the greatest for getting writing things done -- what kind of goals do you have for keeping up your momentum or starting off fresh this week?

silvercat17 posting in

justcreate

What are you working on? What have you finished? What do you need encouragement on?

Are there any cool events or challenges happening that you want to hype?

What do you just want to talk about?

What have you been watching or reading?

Chores and other not-fun things count!

Remember to encourage other commenters and we have a discord where we can do work-alongs and chat, linked in the sticky.

lilly_c posting in

writethisfanfic

How is the writing going today?

Poll #34302

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5

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Today I

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wrote
2 (40.0%)

edited
2 (40.0%)

posted
2 (40.0%)

sent to beta
0 (0.0%)

researched
1 (20.0%)

planned
1 (20.0%)

had a break
0 (0.0%)

dealt with life
2 (40.0%)

We've made it to the end of the month, have you made progress on any goals you set for yourself?

Feel free to share a snippet of something you're working on. Link to something that you've posted recently. Chat amongst yourselves.

kalloway

I feel like I'm having more and more days where I would like to wander off and become an ornamental hermit.

That is probably also a post on its own... This is, thus far, a weekend of feeling very old/turning to dust and blowing away, and general enshittification annoyances.

Beyond that, I have finished the Destiny Astray as far as I'm going to for now. Absolute nightmare, would build again in an instant. Though I suppose I'd much prefer to be able to afford the ridiculously difficult-to-get official version of the kit and build that. (I remain tickled that the not-actually-wrong translated name of the bootleg kit translated back as Heresy of Fate. So I suppose I should be calling it that.)

I will have to get some photos posted because while building it absolutely sucked, it looks gorgeous and absolutely passes the two-foot rule.

I am going to make good on my promise to build a bunch of 30MM kits for the next little bit...

There are no fewer than four gunpla/plamo contests with deadlines in March. One of which I am definitely committed to (Redacted III), another I strongly intend to do (30ML), and the others are if I have a brilliant and fast idea that I can knock out quickly and easily.

I have a lot of other projects I need to get (back) to, but at this point I just need to get myself together to get to the nerd show today and do that. One thing at a time...

(Please go vote in my poll if you haven't.)

gs_silva

When I was watching the Grammys, I was intrigued by the nomination lists for classical and opera. So I thought I'd look them up.

Huang Ruo hits two of my cultures, Chinese and American, so we'll start with him. Here's An American Soldier on Youtube.

In case anyone's interested.

I'll add more links into this post as I find them, but first I'm listening to this one. It's in English. So I'll be able to follow the story as it unfolds. That's not a requirement for my opera enjoyment; I quite love listening to music in languages I can't understand at all, and languages I can only understand to a basic degree are enjoyable for their own reasons.

Okay, wait, look what I found! It's Huang Ruo playing a sheng. I own a sheng! He's making it sound like a pipe organ. I don't know how he does that. I can't get mine to sound like a pipe organ. I realize there is also a real pipe organ there, so, yes, I can see how the sheng looks like a tiny hand-held pipe organ. Looks like, no, that's precisely what it is. It's the pipes held right there in your hands.

Mine whistles too much. And the notes seem unreliable. There's nothing wrong with my instrument; it's all me. I need to fiddle with it some more. (No, it's not a fiddle.)

***

Colderidge-Taylor: Toussaint l'Ouverture and the National Philharmonic

This one is more traditional-sounding, quite brassy and bold. You may know that Toussaint l'Ouverture was a leader in the Haitian Revolution.

I like this one a lot. It's going on my playlist.

gs_silva

Cathy recruits Ella to help her confront Maurice

Cathy carefully composes a note in English, using her French-English dictionary. She presents it to Ella, who reads: "Please help me. Maurice wants for other people to desire him. He says this to me. I am not sufficient? Speak to him please."

Ella puts her arm around Cathy reassuringly. "Oh, Cathy, my amie, don't worry. I'll handle this for you. I'll catch him coming out of work."

She catches Maurice in the parking lot of Liquor Warehouse. "Hey, stud," she greets him, much to his confusion. "I need to talk to you in private."

"Okay," Maurice says.

"I just want to start by saying I'm not blaming you," says Ella.

"Oh?" Maurice looks a little bit alarmed.

***

My friend whose Gofundme I posted a few days ago is in a dire situation. The fundraiser isn't going to hit its goal. Her house got foreclosed on, her car was repossessed, she has two kids including one who has socio-emotional disabilities even in secure times, and she has 5 rescue cats that she is determined to hold onto because they're all difficult cases. I ran out of ways to help her, and I feel terrible. I wish I had a place to let her crash temporarily, but we have a full house here, and we can't allow the cats because Typhoon is vicious and horrible with other cats - we already tried twice to take in other cats and it didn't work. (I don't need advice on that front - I'm very experienced in cats with behavior problems and the rescue thereof, and it's just the layout of this house plus Typhoon being a Force of Nature with no 'off' button.)

I'm backing off from bothering my friend with my half-baked ideas, but I feel rotten about it. Her survival plan is not perfect, but it might have worked before all her assets were taken from her.

Life is tough all around. We'll all be affected in some way or other, some more profoundly than others.

lilly_c posting in

writethisfanfic

How is the writing going?

Poll #34297

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 3

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Today I

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wrote
2 (66.7%)

edited
2 (66.7%)

posted
2 (66.7%)

sent to beta
0 (0.0%)

researched
0 (0.0%)

planned
1 (33.3%)

had a break
0 (0.0%)

dealt with life
1 (33.3%)

Discussion: what are you working on this weekend?

lilly_c posting in

writethisfanfic

It's time to sign up for the January WIP challenge! Some people join the challenge mid month, or comment on check-in posts without signing up, which is fine -- I'm glad there's a way for the challenge to be useful in a variety of ways. For those of you who find the commitment of signing up useful, please leave a comment with the below information.

Sign-ups will be open until the end of March.

Level of challenge:

Fandom(s) involved:

What you're looking for from the challenge:

What you could offer other participants yourself:

How people should contact you:

Time zone:

Copypaste below:

The post for hosting the daily check-in is here and thanks to everyone who helps out with this. If you're interested in helping out and there are still slots available the post remains open until the last week of the month and we generally run our week Sunday to Saturday, I'm happy to chat via PM on DW for anyone who might need it.

If you have ever completed a fic through this challenge we have a collection on AO3 and on SquidgeWorld both collections are open and unmoderated. Should there be an issue with adding a work, let me know and I'll see if there's a fix for it.

lilly_c posting in

writethisfanfic

Week 1: 1st to 7th

linaewen
Week 2: 8th to 14th

glitteringstars
Week 3: 15th to 21st
Week 4: 22nd to 28th
Week 5: 29th to 4th

linaewen

gs_silva

Oh no, I'm so far behind! This is a dump of all the daily comics I've done since last time I posted. I'll summarize it in the image descriptions, but I don't have time to do a full transcript. I'll copy and paste the translation transcript I did on the comic that's in French.

The two raver dudes who live downstairs from Ren Cathy and Maurice are arguing and Owen storms off and goes downstairs to sulk on the porch where Cathy is sitting reading a magazine

The two raver dudes who live downstairs from Ren Cathy and Maurice are arguing and Owen storms off and goes downstairs to sulk on the porch where Cathy is sitting reading a magazine

Owen tells Cathy that he and his boyfriend need couples counseling but he is afraid to seek it out because he is afraid of being discriminated against

Maurice and Ren approach while engaging in light banter and Owen whispers to Cathy that he thinks their height difference is amusing and then when they climb the stairs onto the porch Cathy tells them what Owen said

Owen is embarrassed but Maurice and Ren assure him that they have already noticed the height difference and are not offended

Two conversations happen at once Cathy and Maurice speaking in French here

French translation:
(As always, not guaranteed to be a direct translation, and errors and typos may occur.)

Cathy: "What are you saying?"
Maurice: "Owen is worried about embarrassing me because I'm a short man."
Cathy: "Oh!"
Maurice: "But I already know."
Cathy: "Yeah! It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Maurice: "Eh, I suppose."
Cathy: "It's not a bad thing. I chose you."
Maurice: "Some people don't want to choose a man like me."
Cathy: "Fortunately! I'm not sharing."
...
"If you want the whole world to find you attractive, then, damn, what am I?"
Maurice: "Sorry! That was too much French for me."

And simultaneously:

Owen and Ren talk about Sammy whose name is actually Seth but he is thinking of changing it and Ren is intrigued by this idea

Owen and Ren talk about Sammy whose name is actually Seth but he is thinking of changing it and Ren is intrigued by this idea

Okay! Almost caught up. I always update the Alien Romance Patreon page first, so if you're in a hurry, you can always pop over there (and subscribe if you want, not necessary but certainly welcome). But it will all appear here on Dreamwidth too. Just sometimes with a delay. I've been quite overwhelmed lately and I'm not afraid to admit it. More overwhelmed than when I previously said I was overwhelmed. And will get increasingly overwhelmed in the foreseeable future. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

lilly_c posting in

writethisfanfic

Sorry I missed two days, I was travelling and crashed when I got back to the hotel.

How is the writing going?

Poll #34294

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 4

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Today I

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wrote
4 (100.0%)

edited
0 (0.0%)

posted
1 (25.0%)

sent to beta
0 (0.0%)

researched
0 (0.0%)

planned
2 (50.0%)

had a break
0 (0.0%)

dealt with life
1 (25.0%)

Discussion: What do you do when you get stuck with a fic?

The monthly posts will be up sometime tomorrow as I'm still double checking all of the dates for March.

kalloway

Help me pick my next* build! (*Well, I have the Destiny Astray to finish, whatever I'm making for 30ML Day, the other contest, and possibly some other small decompression builds. Which is fine, it means I can leave this poll open for a bit.)

These kits are all not Gundams, nor are they made by Bandai. There's a frustrating habit in the hobby, both by the folks who build the kits and the folks selling them, to lump all these kits under "Third Party", "Indie Plamo", or just "ChinaPla" even though not all of the makers are Chinese. I haven't decided on a preferred term, but I'm leaning towards just listing the maker or if I need to refer to a larger whole, "Other Kits" or "Non-Bandai".

Poll #34288 It's (Not) A Gundam!

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 13

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Which Non-Bandai Kit Should I Build Next?

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Blue Estailev (Orange Cat/Wave)
4 (30.8%)

Oberon (Mecha Core Industry)
4 (30.8%)

Baphomet Demon Phantom (Cang Toys)
2 (15.4%)

Fire Lord (SNAA)
1 (7.7%)

Apocalypse (Vientiane Fusion)
0 (0.0%)

Mandala (CaesarWorks)
0 (0.0%)

Yunsheng Y-20 (Xiwanshe)
1 (7.7%)

Genesis (Infinite Dimension)
1 (7.7%)

Gus (ZZZA)
1 (7.7%)

Valkyrie (Eddas)
3 (23.1%)

Edelstein II (Moderoid/Good Smile)
2 (15.4%)

Cannon Shadow (Soul Vogue)
1 (7.7%)

Oracle (Zao Workshop)
3 (23.1%)

Star Eternal (Iron Toys)
0 (0.0%)

Frame Arms W2 Spectre:RE (Kotobukiya)
0 (0.0%)

( More info on each kit + links to listings/pictures )

Anyway, there's lots more conversation about non-Bandai and non-Gundam kits to be had, but here's a start. ^_^

lilly_c posting in

writethisfanfic

How is the writing going today?

Poll #34284

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 2

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Today i

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wrote
0 (0.0%)

edited
0 (0.0%)

posted
0 (0.0%)

sent to beta
0 (0.0%)

researched
0 (0.0%)

planned
0 (0.0%)

had a break
1 (50.0%)

dealt with life
2 (100.0%)

Discussion: do you have a go to source for writing prompts?

gs_silva

We got a decent amount of accumulation late last night but there was no way i was going out to shovel

My cat Typhoon ventured out into the catio and made footprints in the drifts that were blown inside through the screens

This blizzard has a little of everything: high winds, thick snow, power loss, impassable roads. We still have our power, but unlike when we lived on the Cape, we're not tricked out for extended living without electricity. We had a wood stove there, and once we lost power for 4 days straight, and were able to keep warm and cook hot foods the whole time. Pretty comfy. Here, we have a fireplace that we never bothered to get into working order, and using your fireplace without getting it cleaned and prepped is how house fires happen.

There was a massive, devastating house fire the next town over. The building dated back to 1789 and two of the residents didn't make it. Worse, it was along one of those winding mountain roads where access is difficult. They had to truck water in because there was no water reserve, and they had to go the long way because the emergency vehicles wouldn't fit under the railroad bridge. It makes me extra glad we didn't end up buying that one cute little house up on the mountain, and ended up with this house near the center of town instead.

Plowing the streets will continue to be challenging. My little side street isn't a high priority, but at least it's wide and there aren't many cars parked on the street. So we'll probably get pretty well cleared by this afternoon. Some of the neighborhoods, though, are tightly packed with multifamily homes and inadequate driveways, and they've already been buried in snowbanks from the storm last week. Our massive snowbanks have hardly melted. The town had a bunch of local businesses taking their Bobcats and fitted pickups out to try to continue the snow removal, and the really big mountains of snow that made intersections so dangerous got reduced to something a little safer (though there's one intersection we use a lot that still has lousy visibility) and here we are getting another 12" (30cm) on top of that! Where are the snowplows going to push the snow now?

So, if you're not in the Northeastern US, I hope this was an adequate illustration of how our life is going!

At least we're not in Boston or NYC. When I lived in Boston, after having grown up in points north of there and basically being raised to cope with severe winters, I found it humorous how little snow would shut the whole city down - at least until they could haul all the snow to the harbor and dump it in the ocean. Seriously, there were dump trucks all over the city, empty and heading inland, and full and heading toward the water. I'm sure they still do it that way.

gs_silva

Sick today. Managed to finish grocery shopping before I got too exhausted. Now I'm hungry for some of the food I bought, but I don't have much appetite.

Another 10 inches of snow is coming tonight. I'm watching the flurries while I draw in bed. They look lovely. I feel bad that some of the acorns I'd saved for the squirrels got moldy. I had 3 batches and 2 were fine. I should have kept them in a paper bag. Live and learn!

The hawthorn tree has been picked clean. I think we need a couple more of those! Well, it keeps putting up runners so I guess it'll be easy to end up with more hawthorns.

I'm on a scene where Maurice is making pizza while wearing his biker jacket. Because he may be a domestic goddess, but he's still a guy.

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Don't owe anybody anything!

Life is yours to live any way you please. No apologies.

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Sunny Monday

Alien Romance, the daily comic strip

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February 2026 Reading Wrap-Up

Alien Romance, the daily comic strip

WIP Challenge Check-in, Day 1 -- Sunday

Just Create - Cheetah Edition

check in day 28

As I Shuffle Ever Closer

Opera 2026: Grammy nominees

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Alien Romance, the daily comic strip

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It's (Not) A Gundam!

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