What I Almost Became
Mar. 5th, 2026 10:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no_apologiesTime to get back to the Shark Out of Water album! This is to be the 8th song for it... I've already planned out ahead of time that this is to be a song that's totally all monologue, from Naoki's perspective. Not just his observations of what my Fox (my self-insert character throughout the album's story) does to help bring them closer to where Fritz had parked his car, and not just how Fritz is genuinely someone that is a close friend of hers... And there will be some backstory mention that specifically takes place between the first two tracks!
(Mood: Quiet, reflective, remorseful but determined, protective resolve, introspective inner monologue. Bittersweet and thoughtful. Naoki's observing a portal to a normal world while realizing he may no longer belong there. Reflecting on guilt over losing control earlier, a returning fear of becoming something monstrous, and a renewed quiet promise to protect a friend who trusts him despite that moment. Genre Style: Acoustic Emo Rock, and Soft Indie Rock blend. Minimal instrumentation, fingerpicked acoustic guitar, gentle ambient pads, subtle piano, very soft percussion entering later. Slow tempo. Intimate recording style as if the singer is sitting in the backseat of a car at night thinking to himself. Teen male vocal, emotional but restrained, slightly rough with vulnerability. The delivery should sound like someone confessing thoughts they normally never say out loud.)
[intro, singing]
As we stop walking, I notice,
A subtle shift in her focus.
She tears a hole in the air,
Like it never belonged there.
How can she do this?
There's more I've clearly missed.
I glance over to Fritz.
He looks calm, determined,
Ready to take her home...
Is this somewhere untouched by ruin,
In a world I thought was gone...?
[Verse 1]
I can't stay stunned and dazed,
I tell myself as I see on display,
A clean, red vehicle not in decay...
Out of habit, around Fox my arm goes,
Gentle and slow, she already knows,
My instinct to keep her close...
Opening the door to the backseat,
As I guide her to sit beside me,
I soon shut the door quietly...
I see Fritz entering the driver's side,
In the rear-view mirror, I see his eyes,
His expression, it remains to be kind...
I buckle up; both foreign and familiar,
An emerging split in the middle here.
I tense as there's a conflict in me,
Over an almost forgotten routine...
[Pre-chorus]
As thoughts are whirling in my head,
There's something lingering, left unsaid...
[Verse 2]
I want to snap out of it,
To hear them talk for a bit,
As I feel the tension sit...
He asks how we are doing.
She replies, "We're coping."
Her concern has me listening...
I softly exhale, frustrated,
That god I've already hated,
Need to find Zel'lotath's weakness...
This "Ancient of insanity",
Her description reminding me,
Of how much danger there could be...
I remember about monsters,
Fritz said there are numbers,
Noooo, I won't let them suffer.
So much to know, to discover...
[Pre-chorus]
As thoughts are whirling in my head,
There's something lingering, left unsaid...
[Chorus]
Torn between her, and the passing scenery,
Feeling disconnected. How could I be,
Someone to belong in this world?
Deep inside, I feel the shame,
Of something I almost became.
The memory I refuse to name,
(Her pain, her fear...)
I promised to never be that way.
(Never again)
Her protector, I'll always stay.
[brief instrumental]
[Verse 3]
I lightly massage her scalp.
I know this helps calm her down.
I don't want her stressing out...
(Not too much)
Passing street lights, distracting,
Almost forgot what she's saying,
As I let her do some explaining...
(About us)
I don't stop her omittance,
Over how badly I slipped.
I also won't talk about this...
(Can't forgive myself)
Her close friend, still driving,
I see him not judging.
The same as her, so caring...
I know the line I almost crossed,
The kind of self I nearly lost.
While sitting here beside my friend,
I choose the man I am again.
[Pre-Chorus]
As thoughts are whirling in my head,
One still lingers, left unsaid.
I was...
I almost--
The bruise from her fall,
It's healed and all,
But I can't forget,
That was my fault...
[Chorus]
Turning away from the passing scenery,
Recalling the event, a painful memory,
I'm still making it up to her,
Even as her trust returned.
Deep inside, I feel the shame,
Of something I almost became.
The memory I refuse to name,
(Her pain, her fear...)
I promised to never be that way.
(Never again)
Her protector, I'll always stay.
[Outro, spoken softly]
"She won't need to fear me again."
"I won't ever let it happen."
"I still promise... to always protect her..."
"That time I've failed... Neither of us forgot..."
"It's an unspoken secret between us..."
https://suno.com/s/wi2IVlxkmVrTkm5y Ahhhhh I love this. Sounds so, so good! Love the soft piano and ambience going on with the acoustic guitar playing. :D
(Mood: Quiet, reflective, remorseful but determined, protective resolve, introspective inner monologue. Bittersweet and thoughtful. Naoki's observing a portal to a normal world while realizing he may no longer belong there. Reflecting on guilt over losing control earlier, a returning fear of becoming something monstrous, and a renewed quiet promise to protect a friend who trusts him despite that moment. Genre Style: Acoustic Emo Rock, and Soft Indie Rock blend. Minimal instrumentation, fingerpicked acoustic guitar, gentle ambient pads, subtle piano, very soft percussion entering later. Slow tempo. Intimate recording style as if the singer is sitting in the backseat of a car at night thinking to himself. Teen male vocal, emotional but restrained, slightly rough with vulnerability. The delivery should sound like someone confessing thoughts they normally never say out loud.)
[intro, singing]
As we stop walking, I notice,
A subtle shift in her focus.
She tears a hole in the air,
Like it never belonged there.
How can she do this?
There's more I've clearly missed.
I glance over to Fritz.
He looks calm, determined,
Ready to take her home...
Is this somewhere untouched by ruin,
In a world I thought was gone...?
[Verse 1]
I can't stay stunned and dazed,
I tell myself as I see on display,
A clean, red vehicle not in decay...
Out of habit, around Fox my arm goes,
Gentle and slow, she already knows,
My instinct to keep her close...
Opening the door to the backseat,
As I guide her to sit beside me,
I soon shut the door quietly...
I see Fritz entering the driver's side,
In the rear-view mirror, I see his eyes,
His expression, it remains to be kind...
I buckle up; both foreign and familiar,
An emerging split in the middle here.
I tense as there's a conflict in me,
Over an almost forgotten routine...
[Pre-chorus]
As thoughts are whirling in my head,
There's something lingering, left unsaid...
[Verse 2]
I want to snap out of it,
To hear them talk for a bit,
As I feel the tension sit...
He asks how we are doing.
She replies, "We're coping."
Her concern has me listening...
I softly exhale, frustrated,
That god I've already hated,
Need to find Zel'lotath's weakness...
This "Ancient of insanity",
Her description reminding me,
Of how much danger there could be...
I remember about monsters,
Fritz said there are numbers,
Noooo, I won't let them suffer.
So much to know, to discover...
[Pre-chorus]
As thoughts are whirling in my head,
There's something lingering, left unsaid...
[Chorus]
Torn between her, and the passing scenery,
Feeling disconnected. How could I be,
Someone to belong in this world?
Deep inside, I feel the shame,
Of something I almost became.
The memory I refuse to name,
(Her pain, her fear...)
I promised to never be that way.
(Never again)
Her protector, I'll always stay.
[brief instrumental]
[Verse 3]
I lightly massage her scalp.
I know this helps calm her down.
I don't want her stressing out...
(Not too much)
Passing street lights, distracting,
Almost forgot what she's saying,
As I let her do some explaining...
(About us)
I don't stop her omittance,
Over how badly I slipped.
I also won't talk about this...
(Can't forgive myself)
Her close friend, still driving,
I see him not judging.
The same as her, so caring...
I know the line I almost crossed,
The kind of self I nearly lost.
While sitting here beside my friend,
I choose the man I am again.
[Pre-Chorus]
As thoughts are whirling in my head,
One still lingers, left unsaid.
I was...
I almost--
The bruise from her fall,
It's healed and all,
But I can't forget,
That was my fault...
[Chorus]
Turning away from the passing scenery,
Recalling the event, a painful memory,
I'm still making it up to her,
Even as her trust returned.
Deep inside, I feel the shame,
Of something I almost became.
The memory I refuse to name,
(Her pain, her fear...)
I promised to never be that way.
(Never again)
Her protector, I'll always stay.
[Outro, spoken softly]
"She won't need to fear me again."
"I won't ever let it happen."
"I still promise... to always protect her..."
"That time I've failed... Neither of us forgot..."
"It's an unspoken secret between us..."
https://suno.com/s/wi2IVlxkmVrTkm5y Ahhhhh I love this. Sounds so, so good! Love the soft piano and ambience going on with the acoustic guitar playing. :D
