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no_apologiesLOL Google Gemini helped me brainstorm a really absurdly funny idea for this other comedy muse I've introduced in the song "The Bureaucracy Game". Demon Turkey's concert morbid comedy song and THIS one are to be back-to-back for the concert album!
(Mood: Absurd Hilarity. The return of a Saturday Morning cartoon-like villain who demands his own share of everything during the 10K Celebration! Genre: Polka-Punk, theatrical and over-the-top. Live Performance Comedy Skit Song. Crowded Stadium. Crowd Noise. Have the speaker for the clown character come off not just as whiny and annoying but also condescending. Have the voice be high pitched in places.)
[Intro, spoken, rushing over on stage]
"Hold it! Hold everything! Desist and refrain! Cease this rocking and rolling... I am Clarence P. Bureaucrat the Third, and I have a Form. 10-99-B for 'Bummer'!"
[FX: The crowd is loudly booing.]
"Oh, save your breath, shitizens! That CO2 hasn't been properly taxed yet... Now, I see we’ve hit ten-thousand plays. Very impressive. Very unauthorized."
"According to the Statue of Fun Limitations, any milestone exceedingly over four digits requires a mandatory Success Surcharge!"
[Verse 1, Fast-paced, obnoxious patter-singing]
I see you’ve got the T-shirts! (Taxed!)
I see you’ve got the hats! (Double taxed!)
See that glow-stick in your hand?
I’ll need a fee for that!
You’re playing music loud and proud,
But did you check the code?
Paragraph six, sub-section sticks:
"No joy on the open road!"
[Pre-Chorus]
Do you have a permit for that "Vibe"?
A license for that "Glow"?
I’ll audit Fox's "Mental Space,"
And everything you knoooow!
[Chorus: Cheerful and grating]
It’s the Merch Tax! The Smirk Tax!
The "Why does this guy work?" tax!
Sure, it’s fun, but it’s gotta cost!
Your 10K bonus? It’s been lost!
Just sign right here on the dotted line...
Today and tonight, paaaay the fines!
[Verse 2, singing over a frantic accordion and a distorted punk beat:]
The Luminai space cat plushies,
Need a Lunar Landing Levy!
Fritz's "Mentor Wisdom" guides,
The taxes on those, heavy!
Wait. Hold it--stop! I see a fan,
With an "Unused Silence" sticker?
I’ll tax the air out of your lungs,
And make my pockets thicker!
[Pre-Chorus]
I'll get the papers for that "Vibe,"
I'll highlight terms for that "Glow!"
I’ll audit Fox's "Mental Space,"
And everything you knooooow!
[Chorus]
It’s the Merch Tax! The Perk Tax!
The "I’m a total jerk" tax!
If you like it, then it’s gotta cost!
Your 10K bonus? A total loss!
File a claim in triplicate,
You noisy little syndicate!
[Bridge, Aggressive Polka-Punk Breakdown, shouting]
"Where did the Bicorn come from? That's unlicensed glam and glitter! That's another fine!"
"Fritz is an unauthorized mentor around here! ANOTHER FINE!!"
"Are those unapproved metaphors in the lyrics? TAXED!"
"I’m citing this entire headspace for a zoning violation!"
[Final Chorus]
It’s the Merch Tax! The Smirk Tax!
The "Why does this guy work?" tax!
Sure, it’s fun, but it’s gotta cost!
Your 10K bonus? It’s been lost!
Just sign right here on the dotted line...
Today and tonight, pay the fines!
[Outro, spoken]
"Wait! Don't you get up and leave! I haven't finished the 'Audible Appreciation Audit' yet... I need a signature for the oxygen you just used to cheer! Hey, you right there next to me! Put down that guitar! That's government property now... I'm calling my supervisor! My pocket protectorrrrrr—!"
[FX: A comical "BOING" sound effect as he is presumably kicked off stage, followed by the crowd erupting in cheers.]
https://suno.com/s/zxEzPkt9INr2RDSK LOL this turned out really good! I had to grab a cartoon BOING FX and use Audacity to add it in there, towards the end.
(Mood: Absurd Hilarity. The return of a Saturday Morning cartoon-like villain who demands his own share of everything during the 10K Celebration! Genre: Polka-Punk, theatrical and over-the-top. Live Performance Comedy Skit Song. Crowded Stadium. Crowd Noise. Have the speaker for the clown character come off not just as whiny and annoying but also condescending. Have the voice be high pitched in places.)
[Intro, spoken, rushing over on stage]
"Hold it! Hold everything! Desist and refrain! Cease this rocking and rolling... I am Clarence P. Bureaucrat the Third, and I have a Form. 10-99-B for 'Bummer'!"
[FX: The crowd is loudly booing.]
"Oh, save your breath, shitizens! That CO2 hasn't been properly taxed yet... Now, I see we’ve hit ten-thousand plays. Very impressive. Very unauthorized."
"According to the Statue of Fun Limitations, any milestone exceedingly over four digits requires a mandatory Success Surcharge!"
[Verse 1, Fast-paced, obnoxious patter-singing]
I see you’ve got the T-shirts! (Taxed!)
I see you’ve got the hats! (Double taxed!)
See that glow-stick in your hand?
I’ll need a fee for that!
You’re playing music loud and proud,
But did you check the code?
Paragraph six, sub-section sticks:
"No joy on the open road!"
[Pre-Chorus]
Do you have a permit for that "Vibe"?
A license for that "Glow"?
I’ll audit Fox's "Mental Space,"
And everything you knoooow!
[Chorus: Cheerful and grating]
It’s the Merch Tax! The Smirk Tax!
The "Why does this guy work?" tax!
Sure, it’s fun, but it’s gotta cost!
Your 10K bonus? It’s been lost!
Just sign right here on the dotted line...
Today and tonight, paaaay the fines!
[Verse 2, singing over a frantic accordion and a distorted punk beat:]
The Luminai space cat plushies,
Need a Lunar Landing Levy!
Fritz's "Mentor Wisdom" guides,
The taxes on those, heavy!
Wait. Hold it--stop! I see a fan,
With an "Unused Silence" sticker?
I’ll tax the air out of your lungs,
And make my pockets thicker!
[Pre-Chorus]
I'll get the papers for that "Vibe,"
I'll highlight terms for that "Glow!"
I’ll audit Fox's "Mental Space,"
And everything you knooooow!
[Chorus]
It’s the Merch Tax! The Perk Tax!
The "I’m a total jerk" tax!
If you like it, then it’s gotta cost!
Your 10K bonus? A total loss!
File a claim in triplicate,
You noisy little syndicate!
[Bridge, Aggressive Polka-Punk Breakdown, shouting]
"Where did the Bicorn come from? That's unlicensed glam and glitter! That's another fine!"
"Fritz is an unauthorized mentor around here! ANOTHER FINE!!"
"Are those unapproved metaphors in the lyrics? TAXED!"
"I’m citing this entire headspace for a zoning violation!"
[Final Chorus]
It’s the Merch Tax! The Smirk Tax!
The "Why does this guy work?" tax!
Sure, it’s fun, but it’s gotta cost!
Your 10K bonus? It’s been lost!
Just sign right here on the dotted line...
Today and tonight, pay the fines!
[Outro, spoken]
"Wait! Don't you get up and leave! I haven't finished the 'Audible Appreciation Audit' yet... I need a signature for the oxygen you just used to cheer! Hey, you right there next to me! Put down that guitar! That's government property now... I'm calling my supervisor! My pocket protectorrrrrr—!"
[FX: A comical "BOING" sound effect as he is presumably kicked off stage, followed by the crowd erupting in cheers.]
https://suno.com/s/zxEzPkt9INr2RDSK LOL this turned out really good! I had to grab a cartoon BOING FX and use Audacity to add it in there, towards the end.
